I Can't Take this Anymore!

There are so many emotions that come along with this week. I'm happy that i'm finally a senior, but it's sad knowing that everything is going to be over soon. I want to get away from all the drama that comes along with highschool. I've never felt more depressed than ever. I've never felt so singled out and alone. I've come to realize that I only have one real friend. I lay awake at night shaking  sobbing. I've come to realize that the boys at my school are almost all assholes. They want one thing and expect me to just hand it over. No! That's the real reason why all this sadness overcomes me. I look around my room and think of ways to end this feeling. I see hooks on my ceiling, the top of my closet seems pretty supportive.. I don't really know why. this isn't like me. I don't want to be that girl. The one that people worry about. But then I think more about it and it seems like I won't be missed. I roll around on my matress and just put my face in my pillow. I cry so hard and just hug my pillow tighter. It's too late to call my friend. I don't want to be a bother. why should I make my life someone elses problems. I don't want pity from people, I just want real people to surround me. I'm tired of being hated for one mistake i made. I want everyone to forget that incident and most importantly me. I want to get away and never see anyone from Sterling, Illinois again. I want a clean slate. I want to start over. Right now, I feel more selfish than ever. I want, I want I want.. but maybe i need to be selfish because if no one else cares then why shouldn't i be?